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Cheap beers, ranked

Every college student wants a cheap beer that doesn’t taste watered down and gross. As a person who doesn’t drink, I am the last person to say what cheap beers are drinkable and what deserves to be poured down the drain. Lucky for me, however, I live with a beer snob who has been trained to taste flavor notes, notice hops, know what productions make the best beers and understands what “full-bodied beer” means. Here are her top five cheap (but drinkable) beers from worst to best:  

5.) Blue Moon Belgian White is not a hard to find beer. If you want Allagash White but don’t want to pay $10.99 for a four-pack, this might suffice.  It pours a cute little murky orange color and smells like orange peels. It’s medium-bodied and has a wheat taste that isn’t overpowering. Put a little spunk in your life by adding an orange slice to the bottle. There’s not much else to it except that it’s drinkable if you want something a little more on the craft-beer-cliff. Retail – a 9 pack is $9.73 at Walmart. 

4.) You don’t need Corona when you have Modelo; Corona is just boneless Modelo. Modelo has taken the throne for best Mexican style pilsner-lager. The beer is pale and clear and is typically packaged in a clear glass bottle, which gives the potential for the beer to get a skunky flavor if left in the sun too long. Don’t let that scare you, however. It can be purchased in cans! Retail – a 6 pack is $9.99 at Walmart. 

3.) Newcastle Brown ale. This stalky and clear bottle has been one of my favorite beers forever. The maltiness of the beer isn’t super sweet, yet it’s light with low bitterness making it wicked drinkable. Unfortunately, earlier this year, Newcastle was purchased by Lagunitas and production is now in White Plains, New York, which changed the flavor completely. Now it’s in brown bottles and tastes just like any cheap brown beer. And for these reasons, it’s not number one in my heart anymore. Retail – a six-pack is $9.99. 

2.) Switchback Ale is seen all over the place in New England. It is constantly on tap at restaurants and available at many gas stations. This is a yummy beer because it has a light hazy-amber color with aroma notes of toasted bread. The hops take the back seat in terms of flavor, and you can really taste the caramel malts with a bit of citrus. Bing botta boom I dig this one. Retail – A six-pack is $8.99 at Hannaford.  

1.) PBR, pronounced “pibber,” this is the nectar of the gods. Prometheus himself gave it to us with his supple heart. The lavish taste of carbonated corn water refreshes my tummy. It pours a beautiful clear golden yellow. I don’t think I have to say more. This gets an air guitar solo out of 20.  Retail – a 12 pack is $8.99 at Walmart.  

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  • AnonymousNov 4, 2019 at 3:31 pm