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Ben and Lindsay – Six months later

To say he’s been eagerly waiting this day would be a vast understatement. In fact, it would be considered almost laughable by those who know him best.  

In this full trip around the sun since he’s been introduced to Tina Fey’s 2004 comedy “Mean Girls,” our beloved Benjamin Strawbridge has been through a rollercoaster of emotions. Wednesday wardrobes have been changed—he only wears pink on production nights now (cute!). He’s made a mixtape of the greatest hits off her solo artist career (passionate!), and he can quote the movie verbatim. 

Perhaps the greatest experience to come of all this, however, is the journey in which he embarked on last March. Donning a captain’s hat and a metaphorical bouquet of roses, Ben and his crisp pink polo began to navigate the stormy, chaotic yet ultimately delightfully pleasing seas of love. And, to the shock of many, he had managed to find a Hollywood A-list co-captain in his triumphs.  

Approximately six months ago, Benjamin Strawbridge and his forever woman, a Miss Lindsay Lohan, began their exclusive romp through love’s green pastures. Since then, there’s been no looking in the rearview mirror—love has kept their eyes on their straight-ahead path of affection and blissfully happy times. 

Some said they couldn’t do it, but the naysayers don’t understand a bond like the one between Benjamin “That Dude” Strawbridge and Lindsay “Lindsay” Lohan. He’s not like Aaron Samuels! He’s still taking classes at the University of New Hampshire! She’s in Greece for her new reality television show! He’s a Sagittarius and she’s a Cancer- there’s no compatibility! – the outside noise never wavered the longing desire Ben and Lindsay shared for each other in their time apart.  

Our editorial staff has still never met Lindsay Lohan, which has shocked us to our very core but is a testament to the durability of she and Ben’s bond. There have been stories of their rare appearances on campus together, such as the time they were spotted during power hour at Libby’s, or the time they were spotted jogging together in matching neon compression gear in College Woods, or even the time they sat in the back of the room together at a Student Senate meeting. She doesn’t even go here! 

To us, Lindsay is a fleeting, mystique-filled individual who escapes our clutches with almost every appearance. We love to see our beloved Ben so happy even when you’re away, but at least let us take a cute couple’s photo for crying out loud! 

Nevertheless, October 3 holds meaning. It’s more than just a line from a movie- the deeper connotation holds a wide vase full of love, affection and commitment. To Ben and Lindsay: Here’s to another six months, and many more trips around the sun after that. And, to the doubters who wonder how much love is possibly shared between two beating hearts limited by distance, fame and careers, the answer is quite simple: The limit does not exist.  

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  • AnonymousOct 24, 2019 at 4:10 am